This is quite a dramatic title, but I like it.
I've been thinking of writing this for some time, so let's get into it.
Perfectionism can be both a positive and negative trait. It can motivate people to strive for excellence, set very high standards, and achieve their goals. It can also be a source of stress, self-doubt, and anxiety.
I am a self-confessed perfectionist. As I sit here writing this, I am second-guessing everything, re-writing sentences because they are too long, too short not descriptive enough, and so on. Some may say, that is not perfection, that is just trying to get it right. However, when is getting it right becoming a problem and holding you back from progressing?
Perfectionism covers many areas and can hold you back if it leads to:
- Procrastination: When you fear not doing something perfectly, you may put it off or avoid it altogether.
- Self-doubt: Perfectionism can lead to excessive self-criticism and doubt, making it harder to take risks or make decisions.
- Burnout: When you are constantly striving for perfection, it can lead to exhaustion and burnout.
- Difficulty accepting feedback or criticism: Perfectionists may struggle with getting constructive feedback or criticism because they may perceive it as a personal failure.
- Strained relationships: Perfectionism can put a strain on relationships because it can make you overly critical of others or make it hard to accept imperfections in others.
Do you do any of these? I know I certainly do and have. I used to think that procrastinating meant I was lazy. I would then speak negatively to myself because ten or fifteen minutes had passed and I had wasted time. It was just that I couldn't bring myself to just start.
Self-doubt in yourself and your ability is also a real struggle when you are a perfectionist. You have already written yourself off before going for the job, taking on the project, writing the blog post, or whatever action you want to do. It is the feeling of being frozen, of not being able to progress, it's quite debilitating.
Let us not dwell on the negatives, so what are the benefits of being a perfectionist?
- Attention to detail: Perfectionists will be all over the details and accuracy.
- Completer/finisher: Being involved from the start of a project and being able to see and be part of the end of it is a must for a perfectionist.
- Conscientious: Perfectionists want to do the best for themselves and the company. Don't all companies want people like this on their teams?
- High standards: If you have a perfectionist in your team or as a friend/partner, you will have an individual that has high standards and expects that in return.
So how do you manage these types of emotions?
Well, as much as I don't want to say it, a lot of overcoming negative feelings of perfectionism involves stretching your comfort zone. Just go for it, don't overthink it. When you succeed and push yourself into situations and follow them through, it helps. I also think that self-reflection is important. Look at your successes, write them down, or just mentally acknowledge them. You will build your inner confidence by seeing what you achieve on a daily basis.
What we say to ourselves must be positive! You wouldn't say negative things to your friend or work colleague, so why speak to your inner self that way? We are not robots, life and work can sometimes be challenging. Give yourself a break and be gentle to yourself. I certainly find that perfectionism comes in ebbs and flows and at times I can hardly notice it. Other times, it is that devil on my shoulder!
To conclude, understanding what level of perfectionism you have, will dictate what actions you need to take. Having a tendency to be a perfectionist is something that can be harnessed for good, both in a career setting or personal life. Managing the negative aspects is the key thing so that it does not stop you from pressing publish on your next blog post or securing your perfect job! We can all find freedom from the chains of perfectionism, it is a case of growing and pushing yourself as well as being gentle when we need to be. We will not get things right all the time, and imperfection is not the monster we think it is. I'm trying to embrace this, and use it to learn how to overcome the cycle of being paralysed by perfectionism.
Please share your thoughts on this and any experiences or tactics you use in the comments.
Allyson
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